spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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