I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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