I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
