So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
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