And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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