i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
