I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
