yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
