"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Randomize
