I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
