Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
