So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
