I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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