u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
