I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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