It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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