He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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