Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
