We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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