windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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