I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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