I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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