from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
