people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have grass duct taped all over my body
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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