you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
