I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
