he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
