did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
