Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
