I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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