my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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