Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We have so much sex to catch up on
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
