The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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