How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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