1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize