You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
