omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
