epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
