Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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