what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
