Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
