I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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