I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize