do herpes really smell.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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