ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
