I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
