Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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