Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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