who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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