Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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