Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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