If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
