got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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