he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
