I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize