We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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