Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize