He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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