hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
