a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
