I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
dude. I can hear the air.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
